FAQ

Who are you?

I am The Cynic. I became a Christian in 2013 and was baptized Catholic in 2015.

What is this site for?

It’s for you to know what it’s like to become a Christian and then a Catholic, and to see what’s happening at ground level in American Christianity.

What do you believe?

I believe in one God, the Father Almighty, maker of heaven and earth, of all things visible and invisible. I believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ, the just read the Creeds.

What are your political beliefs?

I am an American conservative.

What are your credentials?

Majored in journalism at the University of Minnesota; was in the Washington Center for Politics and Journalism program; was stationed inside the U.S. Capitol as a reporter.

Completed a French language immersion course at the Sorbonne, University of Paris.

Original London cast member of Blast!

Freelance writer.

Dishwasher, Giuseppe’s Italian Ristorante.

Roofer and light construction worker in Roswell, New Mexico.

I have lived in 11 cities.

Pringle?

God bless you.

Do you believe in macro evolution?

I am not qualified to opine on the subject as of 5/18/2016.

Do you think we should have a theocracy?

Yes, and we already have one. Everyone is religious to some extent, including “atheist” civil authorities.

Do you think the earth was created in six days?

Sure, why not.

Do you believe in sola scriptura?

Yes, in the sense that the Scriptures are the sole basis of all of my theology, and that in those Scriptures Jesus explicitly establishes his apostolic succession as a teaching church authority. When my interpretation of Scripture and the living church authority seem to disagree with one another, I either favor my interpretation of Scripture or I remain silent on the point until such time as I am more certain of my own grasp of the material.

How does one become Catholic?

Go to a Catholic church and ask someone about RCIA classes. Depending on the program at your local or magnet parish, you will go through a school year’s duration of classes, learn all about Catholicism, and finally get baptized and/or confirmed. Welcome to the family!

Can I take communion at a Catholic church if I am not Catholic?

No, but you can walk up and receive a blessing. Just cross your forearms over your chest so that your palms are on opposite shoulders. The pastor or extraordinary minister will place his or her hand on your shoulder and give you a blessing. It’s rather moving, you should try it.

Why are you oppressing me with your proselytizing?

Because I am an imperialist White Man trying to keep down the Brown People. Wait, scratch that. I proselytize because I am a proselyte. A proselyte is a new convert. It’s what new converts do. We spread the good news. Also, it’s part of what all Christians are commanded to do.

I thought Catholics were more about works, not proselytizing.

Wrong. Catholics are about both. And yes, that includes “using words”. If any Catholic ever tells you differently, tell them to ite ad Thomam.

Updated 5/18/2016