Christ is boring. I don’t feel like being a Christian. I want to be a Girlian. I want to just follow the female sex.
Women are way more interesting than Christ. For starters, you know what they look like. Pick one. Does she have any birth marks?
Okay, and how about Christ? Can’t say, can you? Bible never talked about Christ’s birth marks or lack of them. How am I supposed to care about Christ if I never actually met the dude in the flesh and looked at his birth mark? Maybe he had a big splotchy pink one all over his face but nobody thought to mention it in the bible because they didn’t want to be rude. You don’t know.
Things you can see are easier to obsess over. That’s not necessarily a good thing, but it’s true. The female sex commands way more of my natural attention than Christ does, and it happens without even trying.
So maybe I should just follow a woman.
Problem with that is you can’t predict women. Christ you can predict. He’ll always listen to my confused male ego and he won’t say a word out loud directly. He might not be physically present with arms and legs but he’ll listen. He’s good at that.
But the problem with that is you can’t actually see him and give him a hug. That’s kind of lame, don’t you think? You have to use your imagination. That’s annoying.
By the way, you can apply all this to whatever gender you want.
And no, I don’t have any wise words for you. I’m just a human being who doesn’t want to eat his Brussels sprouts because the Skittles look better. Heartburn schmeartburn.