Giving the Devil His Due

“It’s sickening how good you make it out to be. Makes you wanna vomit. I mean, gimme a break. Who is this jackass, high on the Christ figure? Sounds like you done snapped. Don’t gimme happy. Gimme pissed and cynical and petty. Where’s your wry new take on Miley Cypress or whatever? Listen, dude, I’m fine. I’m fine! I’m content! I’m happy too! Look at me, I can do a happy dance too. You don’t see me running into the insurance agent’s office and proclaiming my undying Christ-love. Ease up, bro. You ain’t gotta start conversations with strangers all over town, spreading your condescending peace and hope. Listen, man. Life is hard. If people wanna find peace, let them find it all alone, on their own. You ain’t gotta extend a hand to everyone who may or may not need it. You can’t save the world, pal. Hey, wanna pass me the Superglue? I’m working on this house of cards over here. Anyway, I’m a Christian too, so you’re wasting your breath. I’m saved. Or I’m an atheist, and I’m saved. Whatever man. Enough is enough. A little sugar goes a long way, alright?” – the other guy in my head


3 thoughts on “Giving the Devil His Due

  1. I can relate to this. Although the girl in my head says, “You’re a fucking failure at this whole thing. Give up. Run away. And most of all, keep your mouth shut. No one needs to hear your story. And no one gives a fuck.” There’s more, but I’ll spare you.

    I think some people are afraid to call out the lies and the bullshit in their head. Maybe they think it legitimizes it, or makes it true. I’m not sure, but its far better to recognize it and call it what it is (LIES!) than to just pretend like it isn’t there.

    Seems like a good spiritual discipline/ exercise. Write out the lie. Then, shine line on it.

    • Ah, bingo. “Seems like a good spiritual discipline/ exercise. Write out the lie. Then, shine line on it.” You reminded me of a pedagogical trick I learned somewhere along my path. It has to do with teaching kids music, but it can be applied to any discipline. The trick is this. Make the student play the instrument wrong. Let’s say the student is a euphonium player, as I was. (A euphonium is kind of a small tuba.) Have the student use poor air support — breathe from the top of the chest. Have him tense his neck muscles. Make him tense his embouchure so that the sound is airy and wan, not beefy and bright. Let him go all-out with it. Let him fully inhabit the wrong way. This gives him a reference point to move away from. Then have him try to do it right again — have him move towards an opposite reference point, which is now more clearly understood due to knowing its opposite. Yin and yang, yang and yin, heaven and hell, God and Satan. Dualism.

      • Wow. That’s an interesting thought. I’m not musical (unless you count the Holly Shower Sessions as musical) in the least bit, but that gave some great insight. In a way, needing to know darkness to appreciate the light.

        And to bring it to my life, the pain (hurtful experiences, etc.) cause the joys to be that much sweeter. That’s hard for people to grasp though. But I am reminded again and again of the diamond– its formed through pressure. In the end, the results are breathtaking.

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