Jesus Loves My Foul Mouth

He also loves my middle finger. In fact, he loves every part of me. What he doesn’t so much love is people judging other people, or so I hear. So. I guess I’ll try not to judge other people.

Unless they’re complete hypocrites who judge me for my colorful word choices when they can’t even go a day without lying to their spouses. In which case I will judge them right back, only harder.

And then they will judge me for judging them back, and then I will roundhouse kick them in the genitals.

Hey, where you going, Lord? Come back! I was just kidding! Ha ha. We’re all buddies here.

Is it just me, or did someone just turn up the thermostat a couple of degrees?

Ergh.

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5 thoughts on “Jesus Loves My Foul Mouth

  1. I like the word fuck. More than any Christian should.

    For a laugh you should find Daniel Tosh’s stand-up segment called “welcome to fucking heaven”. It’s a favorite and I think you might get a chuckle.

    On a “serious” note, I got into a discussion with a friend over the use of vulgar words. He mentioned it was unnecessary. I mentioned that most descriptors are unnecessary, but bring helpful emphasis and color to a story or an exclamation. I also mentioned that maybe as Christians we should be more concerned with fellow followers gossiping, and spewing “death” words around, which is hurting more people than my fucks.

    Another great post.

    • Lordy that was funny. The Tosh bit. I was intrigued so I watched most of that whole special, “Completely Serious.” He’s of course the opposite of completely serious — about everything, pretty much. My kinda guy. I like laughing. Christians oughtta nurse that some more. The Jews are kicking our ass in the humor department. What’s an institutional religious grudge without some decent comedy competition? Wow look how many worms are in that can I just opened. Better change the subject.

      Ah yes. Fuck. It’s a good word! “Welcome to fuckin’ heaven.” — God. “Dude, you can swear in heaven?!” — Tosh. “Fuck yeah!” — God.

      • Glad you enjoyed it! I like laughing too– have you heard of Brian Regan? He’s by far my favorite comedian. He’s really great at facial expressions, and I feel like it adds to his material. If ever you need another laugh, check him out!

  2. Funny I just read this today

    “Let no man therefore judge you in meat, or in drink, or in respect of a holyday, or of the new moon, or of the sabbath days” (Col 2:16): 

    Let’s go have a beer

    • There it is! And then Col 20-21: “If with Christ you died to the elemental spirits of the world, why, as if you were still alive in the world, do you submit to regulations — “Do not handle, Do not taste, Do not touch”…?

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