How to Pray (Whoa, Nelly)

It’s okay to pray about shallow things, petty things—things that have nothing to do with the starving children in Africa. Don’t take prayer so seriously; it’s just a conversation with God.

Besides, what is your prayer for the starving children in Africa going to do for them anyway? If you’re really all that concerned, how about delivering some food and water to them? Oh, I see. They’re good enough for your super-important prayers but not your actual commitment.

See the absurdity? That’s not what prayer is even for. It’s not for shaking your magic totem and making it rain in the desert. You’re not a god, God is a god, and you don’t control him. No. Prayer is for requesting guidance, for meditating, for listening to God’s reply, for orienting yourself in life, for talking over your concerns with the best therapist money can’t buy. Go ahead and ask God what to put on your French toast, if that’s what’s bothering you. And sure, yes, talk to him about how sad you are about how bad the Minnesota Twins suck this year, you sappy ol’ bastard. If it’ll help you move through life, if it’ll make you act a little more kindly towards yourself and others, if it brings healing into the world, then your shallow little prayer worked.

So yeah. Ease back. It’s just you and the Awesome Presence kickin’ it and fixing your broken soul.

(Note: As always, this ain’t Gospel. This is Will. Hi there. Grey matter. I’m plagued by it.)

One thought on “How to Pray (Whoa, Nelly)

  1. Now I want french toast. Thanks.

    When I was in bible school, there was a girl who prayed every morning about what she should wear. Like Jesus is fucking concerned about if you wear the blue pleated skirt or your grey slacks. Give Him and me a fucking break already. She was crazy. That’s the type of bullshit stuff that those who don’t follow Jesus look at and say, “I don’t want to have any part of that weird shit.”

    And the idea of praying for things and realizing that we are the answers to those prayers has been on my mind before. “Oh Jesus, please provide for so-and-so during this rough financial time. We know you own the cattle on a thousand hills. Drop money on their doorstep. Let them find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Amen.” And Jesus is like, “Give them a $20 and forego Starbucks this week, asshole.”

    You get me fired up. :) Thanks for that.

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